The Destroying Angel

"So let it be written, so let it be done
To kill the firstborn Pharaoh son
I'm creeping death!"
-Metallica

In the Cecil B. Demille movie, and in Prince of Egypt, the destroying angel was depicted as a mist. Mist? Why not this?

After all, this was the Destroyer, not a fart. Nowhere in the Bible does it say a noxious gas killed the firstborn of Egypt. No. it was the Passover Angel, the Death Angel, the Destroying Angel.

And definitely not a little cherub baby. Look, angels are scary. People trembled and quaked when they saw them. They fell on their faces, man! Daniel, Ezekiel, John; even Mary was taken aback by a friendly Gabriel.
So what happens when the Destroyer shows up?

People die, that's what happens.
In Genesis chapter 19, two angels showed up in Sodom. Three people lived. The rest were bombed.
Sucks to be a pervert.

In Exodus, the firstborn of man and animal died because of Pharaoh's stubbornness. The being sometimes known as the Angel of Death passed over the land and killed the firstborn males that were not in a marked home.

In the wilderness, The Destroyer sent a plague on a complaining camp of Hebrews. Thousands died.
God doesn't like grumblers.
In Jerusalem, David and the people angered the Lord with their pride, and the Destroyer showed up again. 70,000 people died before King David humbled himself and made a sacrifice. God had to hold back this angel so he wouldn't kill everyone!
Pride leads to destruction.

In the Assyrian camp, during the reign of Hezekiah, an angel again made his presence known by destroying THE ENTIRE ARMY. 185,000 men dead in one night!
Don't mess with Jerusalem.

Who is this Destroying Angel? Was it a pre-incarnate Christ? A powerful fallen angel? Michael? The Bible also mentions a "band of destroying angels", and six "men" who went out killing folk in one of Ezekiel's many visions. And in Revelation there will come a time where four mighty angels are set loose to kill a third of mankind.
Sometimes, angels aren't nice.

But then again, neither are we.

 

God's Foul Language

There is some nasty stuff in the Bible. Some non-kid friendly stuff: Incest, rape, stabbings, tent pegs-through-the-skull, those sorts of things. Sometimes The Bible uses filthy language, too. Pornographic, you might say. You don't believe me? Read on, bubba.
From the book of Ezekiel, chapter 23:
"And I sent aliens to probe your-"

Gotcha! Some of you out there think "Ezekiel" is synonymous with "alien".  Just wanted to see if you're paying attention.
Let's start again. Ezekiel chapter 23:

"Son of man, there were two women, the daughters of one mother. They committed harlotry in Egypt, they committed whoredom in their youth. There their breasts were squeezed, and there their virgin nipples were handled."

Say what?

"There your virgin nipples were handled."
Dude, you can't say that in the Bible!

"Oholah (Samaria) whored while she was mine, and she lusted after her lovers. . ."
Who's talking here? He must be angry.

"She did not give up the whoring she had begun in Egypt, for they had lain with her in her youth and they had handled her virgin nipples and poured out their lust on her."
Pored out? Nipples? This sounds like a bad Cinemax movie. Who's the narrator? David Duchovny?

"Her sister Oholibah (Jerusalem) saw this, yet her lusting was more depraved than her sister, and her whoring more debased."
Runs in the family.

"She lusted after the Assyrians, . . .fine young men. . .but she carried her harlotries further. She saw men sculptured on the walls. . .at the very sight of them she lusted after them. . ."
Fifty Shades of Shofar.

"So the Babylonians came to her with their whoring. . . she turned from them in disgust. She flaunted her harlotries and nakedness, and I turned from her in disgust. But still she whored more."
Somebody a hoe. Who's writing this anyway? Ezekiel? Is he a perv?

"She lusted for her paramours, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like the issue of horses."

Uuuh. . .

". . .issue was like the issue of horses."
That's just not right.

"Thus you call to remembrance the lewdness of your youth, when the Egyptians pressed your breasts and handled your nipples."
There with the boobies again.

What is going on here? What's with all this porno talk? Simple. The speaker is painting a picture of his wife cheating on him, whoring around with multiple lovers. He's hurt, and is using words to make a vivid picture of this adultery. While Ezekiel wrote it down, it was GOD who spoke it to him. He was the jilted lover! He made a covenant with these people, and they whored around on Him with other gods. They lusted for what their neighbors had, unsatisfied with worshiping the one, true God anymore. And as an angry lover, he is using terms like "donkey members" and "pouring out lust" to get their attention.
Yes, God does have feelings.

Ezekiel is an odd book, and I invite you to read it for yourself. There is strong language, the origin of  Lucifer, weird angels, judgment, and model building. I'm not kidding. Go read it. And possibly, you will find out God's heart about certain matters, and learn to trust Him.
Amen.

Guess Who's In The Bible?

The Bible is full of fascinating subjects. Love, war, polygamy, angels, Satan, wisdom, annihilation of cities, family dysfunction, salvation. Some say it is full of fairy tales. They won't believe that Jonah was swallowed by a fish, or that God made the world, or that demons exist, or that Jesus is the Son of God. Atheists are found of saying "Prove it."
Well I'm going to prove something all right. You want fairy tales, I'll give you fairy tales.

The Bible mentions a big sea monster in Job 42. It is called "Leviathan". It isn't poetic speech, bub. It's real. Some think it's a crocodile, but I know better. I know what it really is.

"Can you fill his skin with harpoons? Or his head with fishing spears? Remember the battle, you will not do it again!"
Is that a crocodile?

"Who can strip off his outer armor? Who can strip of his double mail?"
The Candyman can?

"Who can open the doors of his face? Around his teeth there is TERROR."

A-ha! A mosasaur! I knew it.

"His sneezes flash forth light, and his eyes are like the eyelids of morning."
Whoa, wait a minute here. . .

"Out of his mouth go burning torches-"
What?!

"-and sparks of fire leap forth."
Yow!

"Out of his nostrils goes forth smoke as from a boiling pot."
Dang. I don't think that's a dinosaur.

"His breath kindles coals, and a flame goes forth from his mouth."

Oh shoot, it's Godzilla!

"His heart is as hard as a stone, even as hard as a millstone. When he raises himself up, the mighty are afraid! They are bewildered by his crashing."

Bewildered is right! Wouldn't you be if a 300 foot monster kicked in your house?

"The sword that reaches him cannot avail, nor the spear, the arrow, or the javelin."
Or the bomb, or the gun, or the missile. It's Godzilla, man!

"He makes the depths boil like a pot. . ."

I'm tellin' you, it's the Big G.

"Nothing on earth is like him, one made without fear. He looks on everything that is high, He is King over all the sons of pride."

See, the Japanese have been trying to tell us something. And you guys thought it was silly entertainment! It's actually Biblical. Godzilla is real, and I just proved it from the Bible. So there, atheists. There's some proof for ya.

And you thought the Bible was boring.
 

Will America Burn?

Will America burn? Will it drown? Or be blasted by nuclear weapons? Earthquakes? Economic collapse? Or will America be rendered ineffectual by all of the above?

America is not named in the Bible. So its fate isn't either. But that doesn't stop people from reading Scripture through an American lens. We are pretty damn self-centered here. We think a book written by Jews for Jews (mostly) 2000 years ago was meant for us, as Americans. Now some of it is for all people today, no doubt.
But it wasn't aimed at America. It was aimed at Israel.

Having said that, what will happen to America? I don't know, man! I'm no prophet. I can only tell you what I think might happen. I think we will be absorbed into a world community, probably after going broke. Then we will be judged most severely.

Why? Well, we call ourselves a "Christian" nation and yet we export porn, imperialism, and weapons to our enemies. We import drugs and slaves. We are full of perversion. We are narcissistic. Our families are breaking apart, we hate marriage, kill our babies. We vote in liars, knowing they are liars. We adore violence and sensational news. All the time saying we believe in God.
What God?

America the headless. No God, no good direction. We have lost our conscience! We are sinking further into the cesspool. Sure, we do some good in the world, like feed Third World countries and send out missionaries, but the bad is beginning to outweigh the good. Think about it. We throw God out of the schools and out of the courts and wonder why He doesn't help us. Why would He help if we don't want His help? Maybe He is sending those storms, to wake us back up.

We tolerate The atheists ridiculous requests, afraid of offending a tiny minority. (If you don't like the Nativity, don't look at it!) We have set God aside to worship ourselves. Collectively we are sinning greatly.
We are in grave danger, I believe. If God doesn't get us, we will destroy ourselves anyway. You don't need to be a Christian to see that. Our national debt is an imaginary number, one that is so big it does not make sense. But in debt we are, which must have been planned because nobody could be that foolish.
And maybe that's God's judgment right there, letting us have our own way.

Whether Russia nukes us, or a plague decimates us, or an earthquake sinks us, I believe something bad is on its way. Dr. Richard Swenson wrote a book entitled "Hurtling Toward Oblivion". He is a Christian, but didn't write it from that point of view. He was studying future trends and had an epiphany about where the world is headed. He said basically that there is more and more stuff, more and more people, and more and more propensity to do evil than ever before. In other words, we in trouble. But God said this:
"If my people, who are called by my name, humble themselves, I will heal their land."

That's great news! Of course that was meant for Israel, but the principle stands. Americans do call themselves by His name. So there is hope. God didn't destroy Nineveh because the whole city repented and humbled themselves. God will spare us too if we turn back to Him. If not, then we bring the consequences on ourselves.

Make a good choice, America. There may not be much time left.
 

Noah Wasn't Nuts

"Noah" was a good movie. I liked it, despite it deviating from the Biblical story. Sure, Noah was a bit psycho, but who wouldn't be during such a time? And the Watchers were something I didn't see coming. Not to mention- well, go see the movie.
What about the real Noah? What was he like? Did Russel Crowe accurately portray him? From what I read in the Bible, I can't really tell. Like a lot of the Bible, it is abbreviated. But we can try to get an idea about him. For one thing, he was old.

600 hundred when the world died. That's John Huston up there. He played Noah in "The Bible" from 1966, I think. Back then people lived a looooong time. Or at least the men in the direct line of Adam did. But he built an ark at 500, so he must have been pretty spry!
(Nobody ever lived that long! you say. I cannot proved they did, and you can't prove they didn't. Take it on faith for today.)
He lived another 350 years after the Flood, so he was really old when he died. Did he look like an 80-year old, or a thousand? Who knows.

Now imagine God calls you from Heaven and gives you a message, one that really sucks. One that means everyone is going to die, and the earth will be changed. This message also reveals God's heart, which He reveals is "grieved" because of man's sin. How would you feel? Imagine that no matter how much you preach, no one will listen.
And the only ones to survive will be you, your unnamed wife, your 3 sons, and their wives.

No sisters, no brothers, no parents, no friends. Just your immediate family. Now also imagine part of your message is to build a gargantuan box to house not only you, but a pair of every single animal on the earth! God has given you time to do it, but you're certainly not in a rush.
Because when you are done, so is the world.

Now that you have thought about all that, why did God choose Noah? The Bible says Noah was blameless, meaning he was "perfect in his ways". He obeyed God and lived the way He wanted him to. He was a righteous man, unlike everyone else. The term could possibly mean he was not corrupt, as in his DNA was pure. No Nephilim blood there!

I think his family lived only because they were his family, not because they were so good themselves. That should give you dads something to think about. Only Noah is called "blameless", after all. How else would the world get replenished?

Okay, so what was wrong with the pre-Flood world that God wished he had never made them? Two things:

1. Man's thoughts were evil continually
2. The earth was full of violence because of man

Sometimes the Bible understates things. The old historical narratives aren't melodramatic. So imagine what "evil continually" looks like. Every thought by every person was evil all the time. Jealousy, perversion, hatred, greed, lust, all the time. There were no redeeming qualities left on the planet. The children saw the adults wicked behavior, and did the same. Whatever one thinks, he is.

Also the world was full of violence. Much like today, wars were commonplace. People solved problems through brutality. It was in the heart of every human by this point. Men had corrupted their ways so thoroughly that God was horrified by it. Even the animals were corrupted. Maybe they were used in pit-fights, I don't know.
Poor Noah. He had to live in that world, watching it decay and knowing God had it marked for destruction. He must have been lonely. No one listened to his warning or took heed of that ark he was building. . .

But he kept God's promise and did the job. For that, he passed through the Flood unscathed.

Physically, anyway. Who knows how he felt while the Flood came and swept the world he knew away. While he and 7 others gathered around and listened to the cries of man and beast as they drowned beneath the waves. If he was a blameless man, then he must have felt sorrow over such a loss of life. And then when they got off the ark, they had to adjust to a new world, one that may have even had a changed atmosphere. Why did they average lifespan drop so much after The Flood?

Maybe that's why Noah got drunk: The fermentation process changed. Became more potent. Or maybe he was despondent about what happened and wanted to get away from the memories of babies drowning and men screaming. Who knows?

But this we know: God rewarded his obedience. He found him perfect in his generation, and saved him from death. Noah found his joy and his purpose in God, not in the fading world. He had his eyes on the prize, you see. Eternal life in the City of the Lord! Like Moses after him, he chose not the fleeting pleasures of sin, or the fellowship of the wicked, but in God Himself.
And because of that, God had favor on him.

Will God have favor on you?


 

Cattle Decapitation! and Other Great Band Names

Metal bands have the best names. Slayer, Testament, Anthrax, Sepultura, Judas Priest, Killswitch Engage. But death metal bands have even better names! I made a list of the 10 best band names out there, ones that feel great slipping off your tongue. Be warned, this might get graphic. You are sliding down a rabbit hole, one filled with sewage and decay.
Read on at your own peril!

Abominable Putridity! Say it out loud. Go ahead. Doesn't that have a nice ring to it?

Probably the most notorious band here, Cannibal Corpse. With songs like "Icepick Lobotomy", "Submerged in Boiling Flesh", and "Gutted", you know they're not Top 40. But that's okay, because they're Cannibal Corpse! Yes, I know you C.C. fans out there are disappointed I didn't put an older album up there, but I can't foist "Butchered at Birth" on an unsuspecting audience.
Not yet.

Cattle Decapitation. Speak it. Cattle. Decap. Itation. Nice, isn't it? It makes you feel powerful just saying it. These guys are infamous for their "Humanure" album cover, which I am afraid to show here. It's of a cow excreting human remains. Tasty! They are vegans, and make songs about humans beings victims of experiments and violence. "Chummified" is one song title. They have single-handedly turned the food chain around.
Next!

More Dan Seagrave art! Decrepit Birth.  Listen to "Ignite the Tesla Coil". It sounds like Bananarama. On PCP laced with Clorox.

A-ha! A death metal band that doesn't grunt about gore! Dying Fetus. They provide social commentary, such as "From Womb to Waste" and "Subjected to a Beating".

Fleshgod Apocalypse. Their album covers are boring, so go look at their faces. Go ahead, say "Fleshgod Apocalypse". It's fun! Wait, I've changed my mind. Here's an album cover:

How can I describe Fleshgod Apocalypse? Imagine a chamber orchestra layered with unending blast beats and buzzing guitars. By a bunch of Italian guys. One who sings opera style and one who growls. The first time I heard this my heart almost exploded! I felt the overwhelming urge to slam the gas petal down and rip the steering wheel out.
Fleshgod Apocalypse.

Look, it's Devourment! The only album cover I could show here. You thought I was going in alphabetical order, didn't you? Be careful. With songs like "Deflesh the Abducted" and "Anal Electrocution", ABC order doesn't matter. You are treading on thin ice, and underneath is a sonic bombardment of perversion.

That says Visceral Disgorge. "Disgorge" is a cool word. Reminds me of erupting pustules or vomiting. Speaking of vomiting. . .

Vomitous! No joke. There is a band called Vomitous. They vocalize such mad songs like "Atrocious Defecation Upon the Dead". But shoot, that's some great album art!

And finally, the greatest of all, double-bass please- From the Middle East, weighing half as much as you or I, the late, great-

Islamic Torso Death! Their cover art is a little hazy, you'll have to forgive them. These guys are fantastic, though! Go listen to "Kill the Christians!" and "Kill the Christians Again!".

Here's their back cover art. A little grainy, but effective. "Behead the Infidels" is a great song, full of wailing screams and guttural howls. "Violate the Western Women" is a fan favorite, as is "Set the Cage on Fire" and "Vest".
Classics all!

Yes, these are fans after one of Islamic Torso Blast's shows. The mosh pit was extreme! Ball bearings everywhere!
Yeah, Islamic Torso Death!

And there you have it. Great band names from around the globe. If you have any additions to this great list, let me know. Tally-ho!

 

Where Was God During The Holocaust?

"How could a loving God allow the Jews to suffer in the Holocaust?" Great question. We covered something like that in Why, God, Why. But why didn't God stop Hitler and Mengele early on? Why let the atrocity reach such monstrous proportions?

I don't know. There is a reason, and it isn't because God doesn't exist. People want to abandon their belief in God because bad things happen. That's understandable. I mean, look at this:

Who wants to follow a God who permits this? What people forget about is their own culpability. He doesn't answer the way we want, so we throw Him away. Other people did this horrific massacre, not God.
Like the Rock used to say: "Shut your mouth and know your role!" We answer to God, remember, not the other way around. He is not our genie, always answering us when we call. He is God, the Almighty. The top of the chain, the king of all, the prime mover. Keep yourselves humble before you stand before Him!

Now we can ask why He would allow His chosen people to suffer. This wasn't the first time. In fact, during ancient times he sent calamities against the Jews!

Why? Is He psycho or something? What kind of God would do that? The kind who makes an agreement with a group of people, laying out the blessings for obedience and the curses for disobedience, that they all agreed to. That's right, they agreed to it.

And God always keeps His word.
So when the Jews committed idolatry, they were breaking their vow they made with God. Sort of like cheating on your spouse. He then sent in their enemies to humble them. They went through cycles of repentance, blessing, idolatry, discipline, repentance, etc. When they obeyed, they had lots of babies, good crops, wealth, health, and victory over their enemies. When they disobeyed flagrantly, all the blessings became curses.
You get what you ask for.

With idol-worship comes perversion. Their society became corrupt to the point where God determined judgment was necessary. He knows best. He destroyed northern Israel by way of the Assyrians and then the Babylonians. They never recovered. He then destroyed Jerusalem using Nebuchadnezzar.

God did bring them back to their land and they rebuilt the Temple. But they never were a wealthy nation again until the 20th century. Yes, God's judgment is harsh, but He waits a long time before He unleashes it. He waited centuries and centuries before He drowned the world. He waited 400 years before judging the Canaanites, and 1000 years or so before deporting Israel. He gives plenty of time for people to repent. He's not obligated to, but He does because He really doesn't want to punish anyone. He is patient while He watches families, nations, and societies become engulfed in sin. He gives them time to turn it around. If they won't, His holy character demands justice.

What does this have to do with the Holocaust? The Jews aren't under a theocratic government anymore, so they can't be held accountable for breaking those old laws, right? I don't know. Maybe they suffered because no one wanted to help them! The world turned a blind eye to their suffering. Don't think that went unnoticed by God either. Rest assured, an accounting is coming for every evil act.
I'd hate to be Hitler.

In any case, shaking our fists at God does no good. Holding Him to task for His inaction in the Holocaust is useless. He is not a child we can scold. In fact, why did He watch tens of millions of people die in Communist Russia and China? Or Christians while they are tortured for His Son's name? Why doesn't He intervene when we want Him to?

Where's the justice?

It's coming. In the meantime, know your role.