Noah Wasn't Nuts

"Noah" was a good movie. I liked it, despite it deviating from the Biblical story. Sure, Noah was a bit psycho, but who wouldn't be during such a time? And the Watchers were something I didn't see coming. Not to mention- well, go see the movie.
What about the real Noah? What was he like? Did Russel Crowe accurately portray him? From what I read in the Bible, I can't really tell. Like a lot of the Bible, it is abbreviated. But we can try to get an idea about him. For one thing, he was old.

600 hundred when the world died. That's John Huston up there. He played Noah in "The Bible" from 1966, I think. Back then people lived a looooong time. Or at least the men in the direct line of Adam did. But he built an ark at 500, so he must have been pretty spry!
(Nobody ever lived that long! you say. I cannot proved they did, and you can't prove they didn't. Take it on faith for today.)
He lived another 350 years after the Flood, so he was really old when he died. Did he look like an 80-year old, or a thousand? Who knows.

Now imagine God calls you from Heaven and gives you a message, one that really sucks. One that means everyone is going to die, and the earth will be changed. This message also reveals God's heart, which He reveals is "grieved" because of man's sin. How would you feel? Imagine that no matter how much you preach, no one will listen.
And the only ones to survive will be you, your unnamed wife, your 3 sons, and their wives.

No sisters, no brothers, no parents, no friends. Just your immediate family. Now also imagine part of your message is to build a gargantuan box to house not only you, but a pair of every single animal on the earth! God has given you time to do it, but you're certainly not in a rush.
Because when you are done, so is the world.

Now that you have thought about all that, why did God choose Noah? The Bible says Noah was blameless, meaning he was "perfect in his ways". He obeyed God and lived the way He wanted him to. He was a righteous man, unlike everyone else. The term could possibly mean he was not corrupt, as in his DNA was pure. No Nephilim blood there!

I think his family lived only because they were his family, not because they were so good themselves. That should give you dads something to think about. Only Noah is called "blameless", after all. How else would the world get replenished?

Okay, so what was wrong with the pre-Flood world that God wished he had never made them? Two things:

1. Man's thoughts were evil continually
2. The earth was full of violence because of man

Sometimes the Bible understates things. The old historical narratives aren't melodramatic. So imagine what "evil continually" looks like. Every thought by every person was evil all the time. Jealousy, perversion, hatred, greed, lust, all the time. There were no redeeming qualities left on the planet. The children saw the adults wicked behavior, and did the same. Whatever one thinks, he is.

Also the world was full of violence. Much like today, wars were commonplace. People solved problems through brutality. It was in the heart of every human by this point. Men had corrupted their ways so thoroughly that God was horrified by it. Even the animals were corrupted. Maybe they were used in pit-fights, I don't know.
Poor Noah. He had to live in that world, watching it decay and knowing God had it marked for destruction. He must have been lonely. No one listened to his warning or took heed of that ark he was building. . .

But he kept God's promise and did the job. For that, he passed through the Flood unscathed.

Physically, anyway. Who knows how he felt while the Flood came and swept the world he knew away. While he and 7 others gathered around and listened to the cries of man and beast as they drowned beneath the waves. If he was a blameless man, then he must have felt sorrow over such a loss of life. And then when they got off the ark, they had to adjust to a new world, one that may have even had a changed atmosphere. Why did they average lifespan drop so much after The Flood?

Maybe that's why Noah got drunk: The fermentation process changed. Became more potent. Or maybe he was despondent about what happened and wanted to get away from the memories of babies drowning and men screaming. Who knows?

But this we know: God rewarded his obedience. He found him perfect in his generation, and saved him from death. Noah found his joy and his purpose in God, not in the fading world. He had his eyes on the prize, you see. Eternal life in the City of the Lord! Like Moses after him, he chose not the fleeting pleasures of sin, or the fellowship of the wicked, but in God Himself.
And because of that, God had favor on him.

Will God have favor on you?


 

Cattle Decapitation! and Other Great Band Names

Metal bands have the best names. Slayer, Testament, Anthrax, Sepultura, Judas Priest, Killswitch Engage. But death metal bands have even better names! I made a list of the 10 best band names out there, ones that feel great slipping off your tongue. Be warned, this might get graphic. You are sliding down a rabbit hole, one filled with sewage and decay.
Read on at your own peril!

Abominable Putridity! Say it out loud. Go ahead. Doesn't that have a nice ring to it?

Probably the most notorious band here, Cannibal Corpse. With songs like "Icepick Lobotomy", "Submerged in Boiling Flesh", and "Gutted", you know they're not Top 40. But that's okay, because they're Cannibal Corpse! Yes, I know you C.C. fans out there are disappointed I didn't put an older album up there, but I can't foist "Butchered at Birth" on an unsuspecting audience.
Not yet.

Cattle Decapitation. Speak it. Cattle. Decap. Itation. Nice, isn't it? It makes you feel powerful just saying it. These guys are infamous for their "Humanure" album cover, which I am afraid to show here. It's of a cow excreting human remains. Tasty! They are vegans, and make songs about humans beings victims of experiments and violence. "Chummified" is one song title. They have single-handedly turned the food chain around.
Next!

More Dan Seagrave art! Decrepit Birth.  Listen to "Ignite the Tesla Coil". It sounds like Bananarama. On PCP laced with Clorox.

A-ha! A death metal band that doesn't grunt about gore! Dying Fetus. They provide social commentary, such as "From Womb to Waste" and "Subjected to a Beating".

Fleshgod Apocalypse. Their album covers are boring, so go look at their faces. Go ahead, say "Fleshgod Apocalypse". It's fun! Wait, I've changed my mind. Here's an album cover:

How can I describe Fleshgod Apocalypse? Imagine a chamber orchestra layered with unending blast beats and buzzing guitars. By a bunch of Italian guys. One who sings opera style and one who growls. The first time I heard this my heart almost exploded! I felt the overwhelming urge to slam the gas petal down and rip the steering wheel out.
Fleshgod Apocalypse.

Look, it's Devourment! The only album cover I could show here. You thought I was going in alphabetical order, didn't you? Be careful. With songs like "Deflesh the Abducted" and "Anal Electrocution", ABC order doesn't matter. You are treading on thin ice, and underneath is a sonic bombardment of perversion.

That says Visceral Disgorge. "Disgorge" is a cool word. Reminds me of erupting pustules or vomiting. Speaking of vomiting. . .

Vomitous! No joke. There is a band called Vomitous. They vocalize such mad songs like "Atrocious Defecation Upon the Dead". But shoot, that's some great album art!

And finally, the greatest of all, double-bass please- From the Middle East, weighing half as much as you or I, the late, great-

Islamic Torso Death! Their cover art is a little hazy, you'll have to forgive them. These guys are fantastic, though! Go listen to "Kill the Christians!" and "Kill the Christians Again!".

Here's their back cover art. A little grainy, but effective. "Behead the Infidels" is a great song, full of wailing screams and guttural howls. "Violate the Western Women" is a fan favorite, as is "Set the Cage on Fire" and "Vest".
Classics all!

Yes, these are fans after one of Islamic Torso Blast's shows. The mosh pit was extreme! Ball bearings everywhere!
Yeah, Islamic Torso Death!

And there you have it. Great band names from around the globe. If you have any additions to this great list, let me know. Tally-ho!

 

Where Was God During The Holocaust?

"How could a loving God allow the Jews to suffer in the Holocaust?" Great question. We covered something like that in Why, God, Why. But why didn't God stop Hitler and Mengele early on? Why let the atrocity reach such monstrous proportions?

I don't know. There is a reason, and it isn't because God doesn't exist. People want to abandon their belief in God because bad things happen. That's understandable. I mean, look at this:

Who wants to follow a God who permits this? What people forget about is their own culpability. He doesn't answer the way we want, so we throw Him away. Other people did this horrific massacre, not God.
Like the Rock used to say: "Shut your mouth and know your role!" We answer to God, remember, not the other way around. He is not our genie, always answering us when we call. He is God, the Almighty. The top of the chain, the king of all, the prime mover. Keep yourselves humble before you stand before Him!

Now we can ask why He would allow His chosen people to suffer. This wasn't the first time. In fact, during ancient times he sent calamities against the Jews!

Why? Is He psycho or something? What kind of God would do that? The kind who makes an agreement with a group of people, laying out the blessings for obedience and the curses for disobedience, that they all agreed to. That's right, they agreed to it.

And God always keeps His word.
So when the Jews committed idolatry, they were breaking their vow they made with God. Sort of like cheating on your spouse. He then sent in their enemies to humble them. They went through cycles of repentance, blessing, idolatry, discipline, repentance, etc. When they obeyed, they had lots of babies, good crops, wealth, health, and victory over their enemies. When they disobeyed flagrantly, all the blessings became curses.
You get what you ask for.

With idol-worship comes perversion. Their society became corrupt to the point where God determined judgment was necessary. He knows best. He destroyed northern Israel by way of the Assyrians and then the Babylonians. They never recovered. He then destroyed Jerusalem using Nebuchadnezzar.

God did bring them back to their land and they rebuilt the Temple. But they never were a wealthy nation again until the 20th century. Yes, God's judgment is harsh, but He waits a long time before He unleashes it. He waited centuries and centuries before He drowned the world. He waited 400 years before judging the Canaanites, and 1000 years or so before deporting Israel. He gives plenty of time for people to repent. He's not obligated to, but He does because He really doesn't want to punish anyone. He is patient while He watches families, nations, and societies become engulfed in sin. He gives them time to turn it around. If they won't, His holy character demands justice.

What does this have to do with the Holocaust? The Jews aren't under a theocratic government anymore, so they can't be held accountable for breaking those old laws, right? I don't know. Maybe they suffered because no one wanted to help them! The world turned a blind eye to their suffering. Don't think that went unnoticed by God either. Rest assured, an accounting is coming for every evil act.
I'd hate to be Hitler.

In any case, shaking our fists at God does no good. Holding Him to task for His inaction in the Holocaust is useless. He is not a child we can scold. In fact, why did He watch tens of millions of people die in Communist Russia and China? Or Christians while they are tortured for His Son's name? Why doesn't He intervene when we want Him to?

Where's the justice?

It's coming. In the meantime, know your role.