Sunday, August 2, 2015

The Warhammer Drug

Warhammer is like crack. One hit and you're hooked. One fig and you are snagged. One little box of Citadel miniatures just isn't enough! If you buy one Rhino, then you need a Land Raider. A box of Savage Orcs leads to an Arachnarok, then a whole army. What starts out as a passing interest in Skaven turns into a need to own three different armies over two different games.
There's so much cool stuff it sucks you in and traps you like a hobbit in Mirkwood!


That's a Tyranid Trygon. It's beyond cool. Nobody makes stuff like GW. But... you buy one of these for 57 bucks and you're hooked. It's not enough. What starts as a $30 box of Empire Flagellant War Band becomes $300 of whatever floats your boat.

Like this:


The Glottkin. Nasty goodness, right there. Games Workshop has really improved their product over the years, not that they were ever bad. With great quality comes great prices, however. The above model is $109. See, these models aren't like buying a Tamiya tank kit, where you buy one, build it, paint it, and you're done. No, Games Workshop is a culture, and you're either in or you're not. There's almost no casual buyers here. I mean, how do you stop with just one Ogre Stonehorn?


You can't! Ha ha, that's just it. Warhammer envelopes you, seduces you, pulls you in...

For those of you who don't know what I'm babbling about, Games Workshop Is a company out of England that produces two miniature war games: Warhammer Fantasy Battles and Warhammer 40K (as in 40,000 or 41rst millennium). They also do The Hobbit, but who cares. Both Fantasy and 40K have role playing games, but GW doesn't make 'em. We'll stick with the war games.
They are the crack of which I speak.

Games Workshop has been around since the early 80's. They keep getting better and better. Now you could play other games, like War Machine, or Hordes, or Kings of War, Dropzone Commander, but why? They don't have Gutrot Spume, man.



Nurgle Chaos Lord. Full of disease and blight. The one thing GW has that nobody else has is fluff. That's right, fluff. That means story. GW puts out novels, and their rule books have stories and histories in them. Fluff! All the more to drag you in with.
Hey wait, cool art here:


Gutrot Spume, in a fluff piece. No, he's not holding that standard in his left hand. He doesn't have a left hand! Anyway, let's look at a comparison of ogres. First, Mantic Games ogre:



Now, GW:


Mantic's isn't bad. It just isn't as good as GW. See where I'm going? I'm going broke, that's where. These guys know what they're doing, that's for sure.
So, where should you start? High Elves? They're gay. Bretonnia? I like those peasants. Lizardmen? Go for it. Look at that detail! Ogres? Without question.
How 'bout 40K? Chaos? If you can handle it. Dark Eldar? Bunch of hedonistic, murderous pirates. Tau? Sure, why not? Space Wolves? Eldar? Tyranids?

Or whatever looks cool.


Khorne, Lord of Skulls. As you can tell, I lean towards fantasy. 40K is great, but Fantasy is more like home.

Now that you're contemplating buying a model, don't forget the paint. And the brushes! You are screwed now...

Here's one last picture to whet your unholy appetite. It's called a Necrosphinx, from the Tomb Kings faction. Can't you feel those curves under your fingertips? It's calling you...



 

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